The Courage to Question

I recently read a chapter of a book in which the disciple Thomas is held up as an example of bold curiosity defying the contempt of his fellow disciples in his desperation to experience the risen Jesus for himself. I’ve never looked at Thomas in this way, always assuming him to be the ‘bad’ doubter who needed Jesus to confront his disbelief. It’s easy to be harsh on Thomas and to forget that none of the other disciples believed without seeing as he was expected to. He just hadn’t been there when Jesus turned up the first time. We don’t know why; it’s quite possible he had a very legitimate reason for not being with the other disciples at this time.

Anyway, I had a look at the passage in John 20 to see whether I have indeed always been a bit harsh on hapless Thomas, and to be honest it’s hard to tell – it’s all about tone. Jesus says to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” When I try and play this scene in my mind I play with two outcomes. In the first Jesus is admonishing Thomas, teaching him a lesson about belief and faith in a miraculous God. He commands him, “Stop doubting.” This is the interpretation I guess I’ve just picked up and gone with, but as I think about it this scene just doesn’t match up with the compassionate, understanding, grace-full Jesus I’ve been getting to know.

What if Jesus was stopping-off to give Thomas the opportunity to experience what he was asking for; to meet him in his questioning. There seems to be no other reason why Jesus made this second visit to his disciples other than to meet Thomas and allow him to do exactly what he said he’d need to be able to believe in his Messiah’s resurrection. What if Jesus’ tone as he spoke to Thomas rather than bearing an air of condescension was actually warm, friendly, gentle, perhaps even playful. “Here, Thomas, come and put your finger here. Feel this. See, you can believe it now; it’s me.” I’m beginning to think Thomas actually got special treatment because of his questioning.

I’d like to question more; to not be satisfied with other people’s experiences and pet answers; to search for truth, and then maybe occasionally for truth to come and search me out and meet me in my questioning, just as Jesus once did for Thomas.